And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

So I have some plans this weekend to go down to the city where I went to college and hang out with some friends. The only thing I wanted after graduation was to get away from the city as fast as possible, but, ironically, out of the group of 12 girls, 9 of them ended up staying in said city. So, since the majority rules, if I want to see this girls, I have to return. Which makes me slightly bitter. But thats a blog for a whole other day.

So anyway, whenever I have plans to go down, I have mixed feelings. While I feel happy and excited to be seeing these girls, there is always the knowledge lurking that things will never be as fun as they were in college.

It's also vaguely awkward because these girls all live close to each other and I am not able to get down there to see them as much as I would like, so I always feel a little out of the loop. But that could just be my weird need to make everything more uncomfortable than it actually is. Maybe they don't actually see each other as often as I imagine that they do in my head?

We are also all a lot different from how we were in college. I find it very different to be friends with someone when you live with them and can drop by their room whenever you like than it is when you are all working or in a grad program, living in different cities, and don't really have time to see each other that often. I don't know about you, but I am not really a phone person. I have a really hard time "chatting" on the phone. Which is probably why my long distance relationship did not work out. So I rely mainly on email or on AIM, which both sort of fall by the wayside as my work gets more hectic. We all have the best of intentions, but its hard. But as soon as we are together again, its like we are back in our dorm, drinking bad decision punch out a communal bucket.

Try as we might, we only see each other a few times a year. And each time, I get so nervous in the days leading up to the visit. I don't know why. I was friends with these girls for 4 years. They aren't all of a sudden going to decide that they hate me. But the trip is this weekend, and under the nervousness I am really looking forward to it. We are going to go out, and be ridiculous, and it's going to be just what I need.

Old friends are the best friends, regardless of the nervous tummy.